From: Honoring Birthparents’ Choices: Support Needed for Birthparents on Campus: "Making an adoption plan for one’s child and placing the child with an adoptive family is a difficult journey, according to Amberly, who admitted that at first she 'never considered adoption… in fact, I was offended and upset when someone mentioned it as an option.' Later, she said, she began to research it, all the while thinking about what her life and her baby’s life would be like if she decided to parent at that time. 'Finally, I knew that [adoption] was the right thing for me,' she said. 'I just knew that I had to give my son and myself a chance at a better life. It was the hardest and best thing that I could have done.'"
Maybe adoption is right for you and your child too. Start looking here:
10 Questions Most Birthmothers Ask about Adoption (1)
How can adoption be a good thing for my baby and me? Even if you are not yet ready to be a parent, you can still give your baby the gift of life by choosing adoption. You can plan positively for your baby's future by selecting a stable, loving family to care for him or her. After birth, you can see your baby, name your baby, and spend time with your baby. If you so choose, you may be able to receive updates on your child's progress or have ongoing visits throughout your child's life while you continue your education or career goals. Finally, and most importantly, you can find peace and joy in the fact that you chose life for your baby.
Can I choose a family for my baby? Yes! Most adoption agencies have adoptive couples who come from a variety of backgrounds, and they have been screened and certified to adopt. There are additional options such as choosing a friend, or someone who has been recommended to you. Your agency will discuss all of these options with you.
How much contact can I have with my baby after birth and after adoption? You may have as much contact with your baby at the hospital as you desire. When planning your child's adoption, you can choose an open adoption plan—one that allows ongoing visits with your child, or you can choose a less open adoption that keeps you informed about your child's progress through letters and photos. Adoptive families respect the need of birthmothers to know that their child is loved and happy. Finally, if you decide you would not like to have any ongoing contact with your child and the adoptive family, confidential adoption plans are also possible or you may choose a semi-open adoption.
How soon after birth can my baby be delivered to the family that I choose? The timing of your child's placement depends on three factors: (1) Your preference for the timing of the placement, (2) legal aspects of the adoption, which may vary from state to state, and (3) the cooperation of the birthfather. Many birthmothers want their baby placed with the adoptive family directly from the hospital. Some women prefer to place their baby in temporary care while they consider their adoption decision. Your agency can help you pursue either option.
How much will my child know about me? That depends on what type of adoption plan you choose: open, semi-open, or confidential. Your agency will encourage you to provide your complete medical and social history for your child, no matter what type of adoption plan you make, and in some states, that is required. You may choose to share your identity and where you live with the adoptive family. If you've made an open adoption plan, you may have ongoing, direct contact with your child and the adoptive family. The information your child will know about the birthfather depends on his relationship with you and your counselor. Most birthfathers give their complete medical and social history, recognizing how important it is for the child. In some cases though, the only information available about the birthfather is what the birthmother provides.
Does the birthfather have any rights to the child? Both you and the birthfather have rights to your child. If you disagree about adoption or you no longer have a relationship with him, your agency will work with the birthfather and/or the courts to notify him of his rights.
Can my child find me if he or she wants to search for me someday? The law in your state determines when and how your child may access the information in the adoption file. Your caseworker will explain the current laws as they apply to your particular adoption plan.
How can I be sure my child will be well cared for? Adoptive families approved by your agency must meet standards that are shared with you. Your agency will make every attempt to complete a thorough assessment of potential adoptive families. Prior to finalizing the adoption, a caseworker will make home visits to ensure the child's well-being. In an open adoption, you will be able to see for yourself how well your child is cared for and how much he or she is loved through your ongoing relationship with your child and the adoptive family.
Do I need an attorney, or do I pay my adoption agency to assist me with the adoption? You do not need an attorney and there are no costs charged to you. The adoption agency will handle all the legal details for you and the birthfather.
Does the adoption agency offer assistance with medical and living expenses while I am making an adoptive plan? Assistance with medical and living expenses is available through many adoption agencies. For details about how your agency can help you in your particular circumstances, contact your caseworker.